Mister-Meade

So the Chinese Lunar New Year happened, and they announced that it was the Year of the Rat. And to be honest....I'm quite pissed off. Why? Because whenever they announce what animal the year it's going to be, i'm just reminded of what animal I'm unfortunately stuck with.

And which animal is that? The Year of the Pig.

....A pig?
....A pig?

One of the ugliest, disgusting animals on the planet? Really? A freaking pig?!

At least it wasn't a monkey, 'cuz I also think monkeys (or just primates in general) are ugly looking.

Still, why couldn't my animal be something cool like a dragon, or a rabbit, or heck, even a rat? If I had the choice, I would pick one of those.

But no. Some some stupid Chinese calendar decides to pair me up with a fat, ugly, lazy animal whose purpose is to roll in their own feces, and to be chopped up into bacon.

It's just not fair! Whoever came up with the Chinese Zodiac is an absolute jerk.


I know that I'm ranting about something that shouldn't be that important to begin with. But if I'm pissed off about something, important or not, I'm still gonna rant.

So I was wandering around on the internet, then I stumbled across this random Pac-Man website. Then I saw this.



Hm....That Ms. Pac-Man artwork looks familiar...in fact...it almost looks that that one Ms. Pac-Man picture I made a year ago...



Oh my gosh, it is!

Now I'm not too angry about this because to be fair, the site owner may not have known that they've stolen the artwork. I'm just asking why, though? Why couldn't the site owner just find some generic Ms. Pacman art? And why wasn't I informed about this?

This kind of stuff is why I'm starting to get paranoid about uploading my artwork to the web. Because stuff like this happens.

So yeah. I've decided to open some commissions. I've been thinking about doing it before, but I was a little intimidated.

Info about it here:  Character Commissions

To keep it organized, I'm going to do this in slots. So it's first come, first serve.


1. [ (In Progress)]

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

I'm actually going to take a break from making that Marchen Land movie on YouTube back in June. Mainly because I was having story problems. Which is why I haven't been posting much. That doesn't mean it's never gonna happen like last time.

To fill in that void, I'm going to post comic dubs of my characters. You know, starting out small before going big. I'll post some comics here so you could read them.

Hope you all have a great day!

Note: Sorry if this journal seemed really long. I just need to get a lot of things out. 

I wasn't sure whether or not to make this journal, given some DeviantArt users tend to make fake pity journals soley for attention. But I feel like I have to make this journal just so I could let people out there know how I'm feeling as of this moment.

As the title says, I'm feeling really down right now for a couple of reasons.

First off, I tend to be quite jealous of other artists. I usually compare other artists to myself and then feel depressed because my art sucks. Most artists I follow have really amazing artwork. Detailed backgrounds, great character designs, complex highlights and shadows, etc. Me on the other hand? Flat colors, incredibly simple backgrounds, awkward looking poses, and bland character designs that could possibly go off model.

True they look way better than my old art, but compared to high quality artists on the site? Absolute crap. Even when I tried to replicate the techniques used, they either come out as strange looking, or just really basic like shadows or backgrounds. Speaking of which, I could never make backgrounds that doesn't look like it came straight from a children's coloring book. I'm not sure if I'm use the wrong tools or I'm doing it wrong entirely, but no matter what I do, it looks really, REALLY awful. So I said screw it and made the basic backgrounds that you see on the artwork.

I'm also jealous when it comes to other people's characters. There are characters that look really great to me. But then I get upset that I didn't make them myself. Like they get to keep it and not me. "MAH OC DO NUT STEEL!!1" and all that.

I know most artists don't think that when making their characters, but it still upsets me that they made an amazing looking character and they get to keep it and not me.

And when I make my own characters, I always feel like I'm making ripoffs of characters that I like. Like every single time I make a character, they're a ripoff of a someone's OC that I like and get called out for plagiarism and unoriginallity. This goes for stories as well.

It's not just DeviantArt users that I have this kind of jealousy towards. This also applies for other media like cartoons, video games, movies, etc. And the results are the same.

Secondly, I have this mindset that everytime I ask someone to do something i.e. "Can you this favor for me?" or "Can you do this other thing for me?", they would automatically say NO. So I never bothered asking anyone on this site for art because I don't want come off as someone who desperately wants art for free. This is a double edge sword for me. One one hand, nobody will think I'm a little brat who wants everything handed to them in a silver platter. But on the other hand, It still kinda hurts my ego a bit to know that I have little to no fanart. I just don't like the idea of being rejected for something I want. So why bother asking if they'll respond with the answer I expected beforehand?

Which is why I feel intimidated when someone opens commissions. I'll look at the prices, look at my account and find out that even though I have enough to buy one I don't have not enough for other things afterwards, and wait for an eternity to save enough which by that point they'll probably close and have to wait until they'll open again.

And finally, It seems that barely anyone notices me. I apologize if I come off as egotistical or ungrateful when making this point. So I'll explain as reasonable as I can.

Recently, I have haven't been posting as much art because I am working on my movie. However, I do constantly go to my account for notifications for my previous submissions. They get little to no comments. About 1 or 2 minimum. There have been lots of people who commented, but those are very few. In fact, the largest amount of comments I could find was a conversation with the only person who commented on one of my old art pieces.

I get more favorites than comments, which is fine, and I thank you for it, but I also like to hear what other people think about the piece, and it makes me sad when I check my notifications and barely anyone leaving a comment.

This also applies when I'm the one commenting and expecting a response. Whenever there's a user I follow who has a birthday happening, I always leave a comment telling them to have a happy birthday. Very few people responded with a thanks. I know they're probably too busy to check the profile comments, but at least make some kind of acknowledgement.

So there are some reasons I'm kinda down in the dumps today. I'm jealous of people's content, I compare people's content to myself and hating myself for it, I barely get fanart because I don't want to be a nuisance or being rejected for asking for it, and people barely responded to anything I made, whether it be a submission, or a comment I left.

I guess my problem is that I expect good things to come to me. I could make some kind of effort, but why bother?

I guarantee nobody will find, read, or comment on this journal. It's going to happen. And why? Because I'm a DeviantArt peasant that barely anyone knows exsists who hate his own work because he knows he's outclassed by better artists who's art are far superior than him.